FaceBook

The things I do on FaceBook I would never do in real life. LOL I don't mean anything indecent. I mean the silly Farm Town or Farmville games. I hate getting dirty and I would never want to tend to so many roosters, horses, chicken, ducks or let alone cows. Gack. I was laughing at the fact that people keep gifting me trees and plants. I can't even keep them alive in real life and my track record online continues. I have unharvested ruined crops that I can't keep up with and unwatered flowers. I even signed up to have a virtual pet and the last time I checked in on him he had virtual flies buzzing around him and he was hungry and unloved. I would never neglect a real pet that bad, and if I could not take care of it I would give it away (which is why I don't have any). Things are virtually easier online but you can't really undo what you say online with just a delete button because the written word is documentable and permanent so careful what you say.

Now if only I could make more time to write poetry, short stories and work on my sketching and new interest in water color painting. I keep telling myself to read the shelf full of books that I see daily but instead sit and do channel surfing and other online activity. Sigh. I need more discipline in several areas. Yet I have found some discipline in continuing to work out. I ran two miles today. I can't wait to improve my time and endurance so I can run faster and longer. It's very frustrating because I had gotten to a point where I was really running well but I fell and hurt my leg so it made me lose some ground (no pun intended) on my progress. :) I will get it back.

I am getting back into my groove at work but I am still hungry for new experiences and opportunities. Life will bring me what I need and where I am meant to be .... all in God's time.

Horoscope

Geez!  This pretty much sums up how I have been feeling.

Capricorn Horoscope for week of July 16, 2009

It makes me famished just to think of you there stewing in your hunger. You almost remind me of a bear that's just awoken from hibernation or a political prisoner who's been on a hunger strike. And yet I know it's not a craving for food that you're suffering from. It's not even an impossible yearning for sex or fame or power or money, either. You're starving, you're ravenous, you're mad for something you don't have a name for -- something whose existence you don't fully understand and can't quite imagine. But I predict you'll uncover a fuller truth about this thing very soon, and then you'll be more than halfway toward gratifying your hunger.

Control & Choices

I was just reading a small quote about man's ability to adapt. I posted it on Twitter. It's true. We can adapt to just about any situation because we choose to, be it good or bad. Sometimes we tolerate things and accept behaviors as a result of life long conditioning. We are often convinced that we are the source of the problem because we must have surely done something to bring it upon ourselves. I only agree that we allow things to continue to happen. Once it's ocurrred you can't take it back but you can surely nip it in the bud.

For instance if you have a friend who asks for money once and you choose to give them that money well heck that was once. If that friend returns and asks once more - it's up to us at that point to decide if this person is just using us or truly needs our help. Whether he does or not may be inconsequential of course since it's impacting us in a way that may be harmful in the long run but some how some people will accomodate this person and literally run themselves into the poorhouse giving to the constant taker.

So from this I have learned and recognized that I do that and many people I know, do that and have lived lives of self-sacrifice to hopefully one day get the results they wanted when truly it was them that needed changing.

I have to remind myself every day: Your changes in behavior now can and will become dramatic personal transformations later, if you want and choose to do so. I choose to look past other's behaviors but not past mine because what I do directly reflects who I will become later.

My mom told me recently how much she's learned from her kids. I agree sometimes parents need to listen to and really look at their kids and use them as mirrors. Sometimes your mistakes and your successes are looking right back at you in their actions, words and thoughts.

Friday

This Friday really snuck up on me. I was dreading work Monday and now I am free again from the bonds of being where I am not really happy being but things are working themselves out. It's mostly me ... just bored with life in general but that's my fault. Because I do tend to agree that if you are bored it's because you are being a boring person. So I need to work on that and just get over it.

Anyways - I only had to work until noon so I took off and enjoyed my afternoon. Was really avoiding the roofers since they were on my apartment building all yesterday and some of today. I did not want to come home to the banging overhead. Now they have moved on to the next building and the banging is quite more tolerable as it is not right above me. I am on the 2nd floor so it's like they were going to fall through onto me.

The weather in Georgia is very warm and balmy. Heat that just makes you icky sticky and uncomfortable. Wish I lived closer to the beach. It's so far from here and since my son is with his dad (vacation) I don't have a good excuse to go the local pool. I mean I could go but the whole purpose of going to a pool with a splash zone is to take him and I can lay out and wave at him as he comes down the giant spiral water slide smiling and having a blast. I miss my little man.

Oh well at least I am getting some R&R, excercise and time to do what I want while he keeps his dad crazy busy with his demands! LOL

Hair

This is basically what my hair turned out like. It's a bit too red. I am tempted to dye it darker and have just some chunky blonder highlights put in professionally. I am never happy with it and I end up coloring it back dark. It's hard to color your hair without the right tools.

Not much going on lately. I am bored out of my mind or burned out I guess. Work is just not the same and since coming back from California it's like I am in mid-life crisis mode. I hate everything about my life right now. Not to be a wet blanket or anything but I would be so much happier in Los Angeles than here. Sigh.

I can't just pick up and move though. Since I have to share custody of my son it's like I am basically stuck here. Sucks royally.

On the upside though, my son gets access to both his parents and is also in a right autism program at the school he's in. Besides a drastic move to another state and new people would be alarmingly hard on him.

Hair and Nails

I have been back from Los Angeles for about a week (tomorrow). I went shopping for nail polish. I found this OPI brand lasts longer than the other stuff I had been using. I also dyed my hair. The grey was getting out of control. Goodness. If I did not color my hair I am sure I would be pretty gray by now. I am fighting the aging process .... kicking and screaming and proud of it.

I even bought Black Onyx (color) nail polish and this dark berry color that nearly looks as black but it's not. I did buy a tamer color for work of course but hey .... I will probably wear the black to work. It's not like there aren't people with visible tattoos where I work so black nail polish should not draw any gaping gasps from the natives. Right?

I also bought some Kaleidoscope lightener. I want to add some streaks to my hair. I will test and see how light I want them first and then gradually add the highlights from front to back. Getting a bit of that summer kissed look, I want to lay out again so I can refresh my fading tan. I know it's not the best thing to do for my skin but I am tired of being so pale. I try to keep it to a minimum of course.

Here is a picture of my newly polished hand(s). I only show one since I was holding the camera with my other hand.

LOL