Expectations

I am one of those kind of people that if you say let's do lunch, I expect you to follow-through. I hate it when people do it and I won't say something I don't mean.  But here more and more I hear people saying things they really sincerely don't mean.  Something as simple as I'll call you is something that I don't take for granted. I don't feel the person is wrong for not calling when they say they will but when that becomes their MO, their way of just blowing you off nicely, it makes you realize that that person really does not care about you and they could care less about hearing from you or contacting you.

I've done it too though, especially when it comes to men.  Everytime I am planning a trip to California some random guy I used to know tries to contact me. (those are the guys I took off my list of friends on FaceBook)  Do they really think that I am going to take that much time for them when I have a limited amount of time to be with my family when I am out in California?  That, to me is their way of being selfish and inconsiderate.  If they really cared they would fly out to see me in Atlanta.  If I mattered enough to them it would not hurt to take that extra effort. 

Recently in conversation with the cleaning lady at my office she told me, you know, I like that about you... you see right through people's bullshit and you call them out on it.  I have yet to meet anyone who can do that and do it without sounding brash and arrogant.  I was flattered but it's probably because I have learned that I need to say what I mean and say what's on my mind in order to make others around realize that I know their game and I am not going to get caught up in their schemes.  I learned early on who to trust and who to hold at arm's length and who to dismiss.

I have expectations from everyone I know.  My niece, my son, my mother, my sister and everyone else that wants to be a part of my life.  I don't want things, I want consistency and character and anything short of that makes me question their motives and their desire to try to be a good person or what I truly mean to them in general.

Fun with Pain

Last night was a fun evening at a late baby shower.  I have never been to a baby shower that started at 7pm.  Most of them are around 2pm and end before 5pm.  And since it was dark by the time it started it felt weird. I almost expected to be able to drink or something.  I would have enjoyed it more and maybe it would have helped the throbbing headache that attacked me moments after getting there.  The hostess was gracious and offered me a refreshment right away and asked to take my coat but I preferred to keep it on as I was kind of cold but then I got this massive headache and it took every last bit of my effort not to leave.  I knew maybe 4 people at the shower, the rest were new faces which was great but they were quite loud and my headache made it nearly unbearable everytime the hostess would shout out the next activity. Luckily eating was first so that managed to help with my headache.  I went for seconds and a much larger glass of diet coke to see if that would help.  It finally did and I enjoyed the rest of the evening much more.  It would have been great if I'd remembered my Avon catalogs too!  I always do something goofy like that when there is a great opportunity for new customers. Darn!!!
At any rate, the games only lasted briefly, it was some sort of baby bingo and nursery rhyme thing.  We had to juggle eating, bingo and answering the questions all at once.  I think the hostess thought it would either take longer this way or maybe she was trying to rush the shower, who knows but to my dismay she stood right by me and shouted all the bingo baby shower words right by my head and this was before my headache went away.  It was painful! When my headache did finally go away I got super sleepy and then I felt awful everytime I yawned.  I did not want everyone to think I was bored but I kind of was since the conversations either revolved around work or scrapbooking.  Well at least I got to do something social for a change.