The Aspergers balancing act....

The week is starting off in a grey dark rainy way but it’s not so bad.  I finally feel more like myself this week. The heart palpitations I was having have seemed to have almost gone away completely.  I was reading up on the symptoms and I truly believe that I was stressing out so much without really realizing it.  Looking back on the last few weeks I can see I had become an anxious eater, drinking way too much coffee and diet coke and not exercising because my knee’s been hurting.  I have gotten up early the last two days, including today and worked out in the morning like I was doing previously and it appears to be really making a difference.  Thank God!  I was starting to think I was losing my mind.

Saturday my son had an event at his karate center that was basically a parent night out.  They play dodge ball, eat and watch a movie.  My son is one of few children with autism/aspergers at this place but they do really well with him.   I was anxious about Saturday because of the noise and chaos that would take place doing dodge ball in the dark with black lights and also because my son does not take direction well coming from his peers. He feels if he’s to be told what to do it should be coming from the leading adult not some other kid.  It’s that black and white thing where he can’t deal with the grey areas of being told what to do.

I left him around 6pm and around 7pm I got a call that he was upset.  I gave them tips for handling him and cheering him up. It seemed to work because I was able to get back to my coffee and book at Barnes & Noble.  After that call I decided it was time to go charge my phone after talking to my son’s grandfather who was equally concerned.   I did not want to miss a follow up call about him if they continued to have problems with him.  

I got a sandwich at Burger King then drove over to Pier 1 Imports and bought some cute tea light holders in the shape of Santa boots.  I also got some cute decoration ideas from Pier 1 and went over to Michaels and bought a glass vase, white river rocks and some fake glittery decorative foliage.  It was perfect.  I will need to post a pic of the results. It looks so nice on my kitchen/dining table. 

At any rate, it being a Saturday made it hard to stay busy that late because almost everything closes by 9pm.  I was considering what to do.  As you can see because of not being sure if I would have to go back to get my son, it made it hard to plan anything, take in a movie or drag a friend a long who would probably be put off if I had to dump her to go get my son.  

Since I was done at Michaels. I thought about just driving around aimlessly – I did not consider going home because it takes me 30 minutes from where I live to get back one way if they do call so I did not want to have to speed like a maniac to get back.  

As it turns out, they ended up calling me as I was contemplating what to do.  They needed me to come back because he was running out of the karate center and into the dark parking lot.  I was just 5 minutes from the locations so I was able to hurry back.  My son is a runner. If he’s unhappy he’ll dart and I hate this the most.

When I got there his karate teacher had a kicking pad between him and my son. Another child was nearby talking to the teacher but my son was on the floor sweaty, angry and kicking.  I approached and took over.  I got my son to his feet and told him we were leaving but he wanted no part of that but he was not verbalizing what he wanted, just grunting , trying to head butt me or push me with his body weight.   I had to get forceful and raise my voice.  I had to move my car into a parking space if he wanted to stay and watch the movie but he was being defiant.  I took him by the shoulders and said firmly and with anger “you are making me angry, you either sit down in that chair or we are leaving now, are we clear?” He quickly made it to the chair but still pushed at the chair angrily. I got to my car and moved it and returned at which point he was just coming down crying and looking pitiful. I had to sit in this stinky karate center and wait for him to watch the movie.   He sat away from all the other kids and kept asking me to sit with him.  I was the only parent there and I told him no (hate sitting on the floor).  I told him he had to go sit with the kids and make friends. Eventually he saw someone with a DSi and he sat near them to watch them play and watch the movie.  

He crashed in the car on the way home.  I took all of Sunday after his dad picked him up to relax and do nothing. I was drained.

My top ten list of most annoying things...

 

1. Getting stuck behind a slow driver and not being able to pass them because everyone around them is going too fast to give you a chance to change lanes.
2. People who can’t look under the sink and use the big refill bottle of soap to fill up the empty dispenser sitting on the sink.
3. Being on the phone and having someone walk in and just stand there and staring at me waiting for me to get off the phone rather than just emailing me, coming back or leaving me a post it note. (smoke signals – something damn it)
4. People that stand in the road asking for money. I may not see your big ass and hit you.
5. People that call me and leave me a voice message that just says call me or just to ask if I got their email or voice mail..  Send a text.
6. When someone calls me, I don’t answer and they hang up and call right back.  Hate it more when they do it more than once.
7. Sitting next to a heavy smoker, who is not smoking but could very nearly be a cigarette butt because they smell like one.
8. People who don’t understand about personal space.
9. Getting a call and then being told to hold by the person who called / or worse the background noise and screaming is impossible.
10. People who make all these plans and then bail at the last minute leaving everyone hanging.

Bad words and the kids who use them...

I had to laugh at myself while driving to work this morning. Last night I was shocked by my son. He always spells out the bad words or tells me I used a bad word when I cuss but I never hear him utter them.

There I am getting really sleepy and tired last night, so I laid my head down on a pillow on the couch while my son sat on the remaining space next to my head and continued to play his video game on the Wii. So he's basically not in my line of vision and he can't quite see my face.  I was in and out, dozing off and waking up. My son kept whispering as he played but I could never really hear him.

A handful of times I heard the four letter “F” word but I kept dismissing it thinking I heard wrong.  I was shocked by the next word that came out of his mouth he said the mother of all words.  He said “mother-F*****”. I gasped and look up at him from my pillow. I said “you don’t say that!” He quickly just said "okay" and remained silent through out his game after that. I think he really thought I was asleep.  All those times when I thought I was hearing bad words I was right.  I just kept assuming that in my sleepy stupor I was dreaming when in fact I was waking up just in time to hear him.  

That’s a lesson in knowing that whether you teach your child to know from right and wrong is not enough. They are still going to try to use words or do deeds that go against what they’ve been taught and pretend not to ever use those words in front of you, unless they think you’re sleeping.  

I definitely need to keep my eyes open around this little man. 

What men say about each other....

The other day I came in to work and told one of my co-workers about a guy that became the topic of conversation on my way back  from lunch.  I had just walked in from lunch and off-handedly mentioned that I was somewhat not surprised at what I had heard at lunch from a female friend about a guy I knew.

I had gone to lunch with a female friend from another part of my organization and we talked at length about things we had in common. We're both from Mexico but she is much more familiar with her roots, country etc since she travels back to Mexico even now as an adult. I've not been back to Mexico since I think I was 12.  At any rate the conversation ended with us talking about men somehow. They both start with "M" so maybe we just gravitated to the topic. Anyways, she mentioned that this guy is steady trying to hook up with her but she's married and she hates that he's doing this because he's married too and having a first child soon with his wife.  Sickening huh?

Anyways, in turn that brings up the guy I once mentioned I was "dating" on this blog.  Turns out a friend of hers was seeing him too around the time I first met him.  I was mostly shocked at the fact that his treatment of her was much different than it was toward me. Apparently they got involved etc. but soon he had asked for money and was even very disrespectful in his words/texts to her when she could not meet him.  The whole thing was clandestine on her part as she was married.  I had my suspicions about his marital status when he was interested in me but I never could prove he was married.  I did eventually find some pictures of him online with two small children and I since then assumed he was a cheating pig but that does not surprise me much these days.  He also never paid the woman back for the money he borrowed.  He had a time or two dropped the "my cell service may get disconnected" bit with me.  But I seldom if ever loan money out, especially to men. I think men have very little to no excuses for being in dire straits. They seldom have to be the primary care givers of their dependents and they, more often than not, earn higher wages than women, unless they are on equal footing and by that I mean they both don't have educations and both work at McDonald's.  I am talking about men with some kind of education or with limited challenges that keep them from excelling at something.

Upon telling my male co-worker about this guy and a little background history. He only had two words. "Man-Whore."  There you have it.  If this is your idea of dating or trying to live life on the backs of those around you, especially women you date, to garner what's outside your means, then yes you are a "man-whore."  And the one thing I do take away from this is that men, as well as women, can and will be embarrassed by what people of their own gender, not just their own race, do.  Thanks to my co-worker, I realize that there are some men worthy of calling men.