From the fire into the frying pan

Is that how that saying goes or do I have that backwards?  Anyways, I had to let the stand alone home go.  I thought about it but the rent was $75 more, and it did not include the cost for water and trash pickup, gas heat and electric costs would be higher, required lawn maintenance at my expense, plus it had some small issues like a door that, though locked, could be pushed open from the outside if pushed hard enough because the door floor thingie was coming apart, also had a basement with only a very light duty lock to keep anyone out, and an 80 year old landlord.

I did not want to jump from a fire into the frying pan.  The whole 80 year old landlord comment was not a discriminatory remark but if something needed fixing I would not be able to depend on an old man to do anything and he may be equally financially squeezed to spend the money to repair anything.  The other thought that ran through my mind was that if he kicked the bucket I might be looking for a new place sooner than I'd like.  I don't know who would be next in line to take over his income property and I'd hate to be in the line of fire of kids and grandkids who would want to take possession while I was still not moved out.

I have a vivid imagination, too vivid for my own good. The basement did me in.  We had one in a house we lived in as a kid and it terrified me.  I guess I never got over it and the way I like to watch CSI and 48 Hours is not a good blend for a home with too many nooks and crannies and multiple entrances.  I like one way in and windows up high enough that no one can get into them unless they can fly or have a tall enough ladder.

I hope I can find something that I like without compromising my safety and my son's.  I also thought about how my autistic son likes to hide when he's upset. He darts and hides and I worried he might fall down the steps into that dark dank basement.   The basement steps are hard to get down because the floor above forces you to duck to get down them and if you don't know that you can knock yourself out going down too fast.  The basement door to the outside locked from the inside but looked like a very flimsy piece of wood and locked only with an aluminum fastener like the ones in public restroom stalls. That would not prevent my son from getting out or accidently leaving it unsecured.

Oh well back to the drawing board.  I know my gut instinct is right and I have to go with it.  If I felt completely okay about this place there would have been no room for hesitation.  Hopefully my neighbors will not be a total pain in my ass for too much longer.  I found out the downstairs yard sale on lot neighbors are only here temporarily while they close on a home.

In some ways that is good but not really because this means a steady stream of unknowns will be move in; people who don't need to stay, won't care to take care of the place nor the neighbors they temporarily have to deal with. I think the landlord is getting desperate to rent that place below me so he's taking whatever deal he can get his hands on.  Sucks for me in several ways but hopefully these transients will all be decent enough people ... noisy but hopefully harmless.

The rental places close to my son's school are way too expensive with just my income.  $900+ for a 2 bedroom apartment is too rich for my blood.  Renting sucks and so does being single and not so well off.  Though the apartments give discounts for people who make below a certain amount of money, I am just "rich" enough (sarcasm) not to qualify for this $150 discount.  Yay me for making just enough but not enough .... LOL what can you do but laugh at your luck right.  The best thing I heard all week is that my sister's biopsy came back negative for cancer.  So guess I can't complain.  The dings on my car will eventually just be a bad memory.

Annoying Stupid Neighbors

Okay this is an annoyed neighbor rant. Are you the kind of neighbor that makes noise all hours of the night, hits other people's cars when opening your driver side or any doors on your car, leaves all sorts of crap on your porch like Sanford and son live there? If so don't read this because I am going to make you sound like the worst person on the planet.

I have one neighbor who can't seem to hold her door so the downhill parking lot and gravity won't make it slam into my car and leave a ding.  WTF part of being a considerate neighbor does she not get?  She leaves her trash on her porch for weeks before finally getting it down to the trash cans and then has the nerve to ask me if I will let her use my WIFI and claim to "pay me" half the cost?  Oh really? So you can feel better about hitting my car every few weeks.  Today after my run I tried to talk to her but she did not answer her door.  I left a note telling her to stop hitting my car and put a big note on the passenger side of my car she hit(s) that says "Stop HITTING my CAR!  I had confronted her about it before and she said she did not hit it but I was at work all day yesterday and did not see that new ding on my car til this morning after my run.

The other neighbors are mostly okay but one guy spends half his time on his cell phone outside all day and night.  One night he was up til after 11pm talking to someone.  I finally had to say something.  I told him I could hear him in my apartment and that seems to have taken care of it.

The new tenants down stairs, are loud on the weekends and stay up late. They did not this weekend because they decided to have a yard sale on their porch so it looks like the Clampetts moved in.  When that stuff was not there last weekend they were up til 2AM from Friday night to Saturday morning.  I had to work that weekend so I was miserably tired the next day.  I did not fall asleep until 5AM because I just tossed and turned when they finally shut up.  I try not to be the annoying neighbor who is bothered by every little thing but FUCK!!! people stop hitting my car, be a little cleaner and shut the fuck up at night.  Seriously.

It's not that I am that materialistic but I only have one car and it cost me $7,000 or more with interest - that's a lot of money for it to be slowly beaten into a pulp and I pay enough rent here to merit some peace and quiet when I go to bed.

I found a small two bedroom stand alone house closer to my job so I might just be moving. The only negative is it costs more and looks to require some lawn care.  But it might be better than putting up with these idiots around here much longer.

More Funny Stuff

I told my son I was being anal about how to do something and he asked "doesn't that mean butt?" I replied with, "well in this sense it means I'm being...", but before I could finish he said, "Being crazy?" Some of you who are friends with me on FaceBook, may have seen this on my status update.


I realize even though he was not really saying I was crazy, (I hope), he had a point.  How many times have you been hell bent on getting your way and then realized it did not really matter that that one thing be done just so or your way or stick to some imagined rule.  


I laughed and realized... he's right.  I try to catch myself sometimes when I let my need to be right or listened to take over.  It's just plain crazy to have to be right.  Let someone else take center stage, let them believe they are important or know what they are saying.  As much as we each want to be heard, there are 10 other people in line that want to be heard even more and you could make them feel really good by just shutting up and letting them have the floor or doing it their way.  


However, don't become a total push over.  Stand your ground where it matters but not the trivial crap that could turn into a full out blow up fight that you regret later because it was not that important.


I was almost to that point the other day when I made my son read when I wanted when he had the whole weekend to get it done.  I realize that at one point I was just trying to get his homework done before he was tired.  I know when he gets tired he finds more ways to get out of doing things so I was imposing my will as a preemptive move not to be totally controlling but I still felt bad for pushing the issue and almost pushing into major meltdown mode.  Next time I will stick to giving him a time he has to do it or set the timer for when he needs to start it.  That always works best.

Funny Conversations

My son and I were stuck in traffic the other day. A big accident involving two SUVs and a motorcycle held up highway 985 traffic for at least 45 minutes.  At one point I said, "Good thing we don't have to pee!"... I guess I jinxed the moment because as soon as I said it my son said he was actually starting to feel the urge to go.  I replied with "At least you're a kid and can go stand in the trees and go. If I did that there'd be no way to hide what I was doing having to squat. Guys are lucky sometimes."  My son said, "That would be weird and scary!"  Then he said, "Parents would have to tell their kids - "children avert your eyes!""  He said this while holding his hand over his eyes dramatically!"  I was cracking up because the gesture and his words were so cute and funny all at once and at his age (10) I thought avert was a word he'd never really use.

I was really amused.  He says the funniest things sometimes. I can't imagine how his mind works sometimes but he has a wicked sense of humor even if he's not fully aware it himself.

Today he was a huge help at work.  I had to map a network drive on each lab computer at work and I showed him how to do it and he was able to replicate the process over and over on at least 20 computers without asking how to do it again. He had fun helping me and I was really impressed that I could tell him how to do something and he was able to do it successfully.  He's a great kid.

I am working again tomorrow but I will let him stay with his grandmother tomorrow so he won't be bored out of his mind waiting on me.  Luckily I only worked 3 hours of the event today but tomorrow will be a full 7 hours.  I will go running after work and then pick him up from his grandma's house when I am done.  The best thing about this event is that it pays $25 per hour - more than I make at my regular job so I went ahead and arranged to work so I could pocket some extra money.

Running

Today I went running at 5AM.  I actually woke up before my alarm at 4:45 AM.  I got up and put my running wear on and headed out.  I told myself I had to just try it and see if running in the dark before everyone is up is something I could like.  I did enjoy it.  However, running in the dark is a bit scary so I tend to want to run faster than I should.  Don't want injuries.  The other negative in this area is the smell of chicken trucks if you run on a main city street.  Ugh! 

The police was in full force this morning ticketing speeders.  I must have waved at the same cop about two times.  I ran around the university campus so I felt a bit safer through there as well and felt better when I saw a few more runners in the morning out there pounding pavement in the dark. 

I ran 4 miles and my pace was not too bad for my slow pokey self.  About 12:20 min/mile today. I know with time I will improve I just feel frustrated because I've been at this a lot on and off and I feel like I just get stuck around this pace but this is the most of I have run at this pace in a long while plus it was a pretty good run with little to no pain.

My left achilles tendon has been bothering me but it did not this morning until after I ran.  As soon as I stopped and got home and sat for a minute it tightened up.  I guess I just need to do a lot more stretching. 

My son is with his dad this week that is why the morning run was possible.  I would never leave my son alone to go run.  That would be horrible.  He's run up to 2 miles with me but a 4 mile run at my pace would not be possible for him.  He'd hate me. LOL

His teacher called me last night to tell me they are sending his psych eval form to sign and it will including a hearing and vision test.  Hoping that all goes well, I am sure it will though.  I just worry about the hearing test as my son hates stuff placed against his head against his will and the beeping sounds might upset him.  His hearing seems to be amplified and low sharp beeps sound like ice picks digging in his ears.

What's Important....

I am coming to the realization that part of the reason I have found less and less enjoyment in some areas of my life is mostly the quality of the people I am sometimes surrounded by.  I like having things but when those around you are consumed with the latest gadget craze without any real purpose for its use other than just getting it because it's the latest and greatest, it makes you realize how expendable you are to those people and it warrants reappraising where you fit into this trend.  Or at least reappraising where you can trim the fat so to speak.  The best solution is creating distance if you can with those people, change the subject or walk away if you can.

I used to have a friend in high school who actually chose to stay friends with people based on how attractive they were. She told me once she only liked having pretty friends because it attracted guys.  I can see how that approach tends to attract the boys but I found that super shallow and it was also a rude awakening in realizing how people use each other; either subtly or overtly.  She thought she could attract men to herself by having female friends that could also attract men.  Maybe it was a self-confidence issue and not so much a way of abusing or using anyone really.  However, in doing something for the value it brings you sometimes leaves others wondering what your motives are and questioning whether you have any integrity.

Employers do that in so many ways.  I've heard some crazy stuff over the years.  Some things were subtle and others overt statements that spoke volumes about that individual's personal values or lack thereof, if the shoe fits.  I was once picked over someone else for a receptionist job because I did not sound ethnic on the phone, even though the other woman, an African-American woman, had more experience.  I know because I was told by the hiring manager.  It was a big disappointment to hear that because I know a lot of people with strong accents or who sound "ethnic" if that's appropriate to even say and I would not want them treated that way or passed over for a job they were qualified to do.

Just like the latest and greatest gadgets, people can be traded in, traded up or discarded.  Actions speak louder than words.  Actions confirm whether people really care, only want you around  to carry the dead weight they would rather not carry themselves, or if they have your best interests at heart.  I hate lip service, so when I am told one thing and another is done, I start keeping my eye on what's going on to see where it is I fit in, in the big picture.

My first priority is my health, my son and my family. Then everything else. If something compromises that value tree, it's time to start chopping some weeds.

Progress

I'm a bit stoked about running 5 miles again today.  I really really found it a lot easier to get to that distance today.  I am thinking it had a lot to do with eating a bit better today especially eating a banana and a protein bar a few hours before running.  Or I am just getting stronger and it's starting to show in my ability to keep running without feeling like I am in pain. Normally I start off good then I start feeling all these aches and pains and then it's like I hit a wall after mile one then I break through and again at mile 3 I feel a bit challenged but as I near mile 4 it feels like I don't feel much until the last quarter mile before I get to mile 5 then I feel like I want to stop but tonight when I was done I felt like I recovered faster and I don't feel like taking a nap like I did when I did 5 miles Wednesday and 6 miles Friday last week.

I am no streak of lightning when I run because I am not that fast but for someone my age I think I do okay. I really feel good that I have pushed myself to go back to the gym and start working out again.  I already notice my clothes loosening up again.

Almost a year or two ago I was well on my way to getting into decent shape but I let the cold winter slow me down and it created a bad habit of curling up on the couch again.  Before I knew it, I had gained some weight and my lower back was in pain again, my hip would stiffen up and I'd be miserable daily because I was not getting any sleep from the pain that kept me up all night.

It's weird how getting in shape and going through that kind of pain eases those other aches and pains.

Well, here's to keeping at it and fighting off the lazies each and every day.