Beliefs and Holidays

I enjoy getting other people's perspective on their beliefs, opinions, and ideas.  Hearing about them, entertaining the notion or just listening.  I don't like other people's beliefs, ideas, notions or opinions enforced upon me.  I don't care if you don't like holidays or believe in them.  I am going to celebrate them. Maybe I will go to hell for enjoying Halloween or birthdays or whatever it is you or someone else does not agree should be celebrated but I will go there without those that want to party poop on the party that is called being a happy well balanced human being. 

A friend of mine on Daily Mile has mentioned that their school or child's class will not participate in any Halloween activities because of one child's religion and the big bunch of noise his mom is making about it.  What, did she donate the damn library or something?  I hate people who want their lives and beliefs to be more important than anyone else's.  People who originally came to America left where they left to flea religious persecution and now we are all here putting up with other people telling us what is right or wrong about what we want to celebrate.  A small minority if you ask me. Maybe I am a jerk for saying so but I don't push my Catholicism on anyone.... I don't make everyone read about the Trinity and the Virgin Mary.  Why is it okay for some groups to litter the world with their propaganda and enforce their will on everyone else?  

Yes I believe in God but I won't make you pray or shove my bible down your throat so don't take my right to celebrate holidays I like anywhere it is appropriate to allow it.  We all have rights not just the paranoid freaks that think everything you do will send you down the hell chute.

Things About Me

I like hummus but I won't eat chickpeas in their natural form.
I like ketchup and salsa, but won't eat tomato slices or in any raw tomato form.
I like white steamed rice with tuna.
I love word games, especially Words with Friends
I like to draw/sketch.
I like to run.
I like pretzels with mustard.
I'm a mom to a child with autism or more accurately a child diagnosed with Aspergers.
I only have one child and don't want more.
I find it annoying when someone is a know-it-all or acts like their beliefs hold more value
I think religion and prayer is a personal thing and I should not have to pray like anyone else or believe like anyone else.
I honestly don't care if our money or other government documents have the word God in them. Look how corrupt government and politics are... Has it helped them any to see those words daily on what they love the most ... their precious money! If that's the case why is it not printed on credit cards.

Understanding

I was just reading ... something I tend to do less and less lately. I can't seem to sit still and just be.  My brain wants to do things but not be still.  Anyways, I got back to reading "Reconnected Kids" by Robert Melillo and I was reading a section on bed wetting.  It made me realize that many of the times that my son would have accidents had nothing to do with him drinking too much before bed or not trying to hold it or get up to use the restroom before an accident.

According to the book, the development of the brain in the frontal lobes area, which is the seat of executive functions, or higher cognitive skills is the area that controls urination.  This is what develops voluntary and involuntary control.  Because brain activity decreases dramatically in the REM stage of sleep it can often cause bed-wetting.

Another stage of development that can cause a child to regress to bed-wetting is language development growth spurts.  The brain's verbal language center is also housed in the frontal lobe area.

It's amazing to learn how the brain works.  I wish I had read this when my son was a bit younger.  It was very frustrating to not know how to help.  If I had known this at least there would have been an acceptance of what I could not or did not need to help with in the potty training learning curve.  I would have also been more patient about it.

There have been many tearful moments because of not knowing what was going on and this is a great way to illustrate why reading and support groups can indeed help us learn something we don't already know.

Being a Mother... and a nag

My son never ceases to amaze me.  Sunday he told me I make him want to shoot himself because I talk or ask more questions than the game 20 Questions.   In other words, I nag him, bug him and am just a plain pain in his butt.

LOL it's a taste of my own medicine I suppose, as I feel the same way about my mom at times because she calls me so much.  Anyways, he's like me ... he wants his space and he does not want to be bugged.  I can't blame him I am that way very much.  Very independent and hate to have the hovering parent, family member, whatever person that just lingers and wants to know how you are every 30 minutes and if you have eaten, and what you ate and when ... and why and with who.

Sometimes I realize I become my mom with my son.  But I become a mom period.  We all definitely become the parent that smothers at times.  My son is only 10 though and I am a grown woman.  So sometimes my asking my own mother to back off is well understandable to say the least.

I just found it hilarious that he said that to me but it was just straight to the point and blunt.  I was like "well I never!"  I told my sister what he said and she just laughed too.  He's a character.  He knows what he wants, what he likes and does not take much shit from anyone.  Ahhhh so much like me.

These are great traits to some degree until he starts beating up on someone who crosses any of his boundaries. Yes he scratches, kicks, and shoves.  He used to bite but he's outgrown that.  It's seldom that he will become this violent these days but when he does, the school often does call us to come get him.  I can't say I blame them because his meltdowns can last about an hour or longer at times.  Sometimes they are a momentary rage that lasts a minute or two.  Followed by frustration and tears.  I think at school he won't let himself vent or vocalize what he's feeling so he just blows up so at home where he does speak more freely the meltdowns are less intense or at least they are less intense when he's with me.

I am in the process of moving because the smoking from the downstairs neighbors filters into my place and the landlord is just not really doing much about it.  I found a small house and will move within a month.  I am anxious and excited about it so I can just imagine what this might do to my Aspie.  He seems okay with it though so we journey again into new ground.

Flapping

When I think of flapping I think of driving.  Why are they connected you might ask?  Well it's because my son gets excited at the sight of fast moving objects, spinning things, hectic things that create a visual chaos for your eyes.  Excited = hand flapping.  I wonder if my son will ever ever stop doing this.

My son flaps when something excites him or upsets him a good bit.  Like when we go to Best Buy and some kids are playing guitar hero. He loves to watch them play but won't try it... it overwhelms him to play but the sound and the intensity of the flashing colored lights is a thrill so he stands back and flaps.  All passersby will stare.  It's been a while since we went to Best Buy long enough for this to happen but the last time we were there my son could not wait to leave. There were too many electronics making noise, beeping and flashing for him.  He even said he could not handle all the high pitch beeps anymore and asked to leave.

The intensity of things can either catapult him to a meltdown or a frenzy of hand flapping and near tip toe stiff standing. I am amazed and impressed when he verbalizes the frustration. It's an odd thing but he's been doing it so long, I know him by it and I know it's his way to express a certain amount of enjoyment and excitement and it makes me happy to know he's happy or enjoying something.

I fear, however, this will impede his ability to be productive on several levels.  Especially when it comes to driving.  He likes to watch things move, spin, whiz by and I'm afraid that he'll be hand flapping while driving.  I am so much less concerned with texting and driving right now because I have other stimuli that present a much larger danger in the level of distraction they afford to my son, at least, right now.

He has not even learned to ride a bike because his balance and coordination is just not strong enough to support the additional demands of focusing his energy on staying upright let alone ignore other stimuli ... like cars and such.  My child is clumsy like me but a bit more amplified.  He falls a lot even when he's standing still he can fall.  It's like the floor just gets pulled out from under him sometimes and he's down.  Usually he laughs and says he can't seem to stop falling but either he's being silly, trying to get attention or really really just losing his balance a lot.

This is an adventure in more ways than one.

Growing and growing....

After my son's teacher parent conference yesterday I had to head back to the ex-MILs house to pick up my little bean.  Well he's not such a small bean anymore.  All 120 pounds of 5 foot 2 - 10 year old boy that everyone thinks is 13 came bounding to me and nearly knocked me down.  I love that he is happy to see me and wants to give me a hug.  The only part that adds trepidation is his strength... and the strength he seldom realizes he has.  He is a big boy.  He almost knocks me down when he leans his weight against me and ....oh... forget him sitting on my lap anymore... I think my thighs are not strong enough to support his size anymore.   I love when he sits next to me and lets me hug him and rub his back and cuddle with him.  He starts cracking up when I lean down and kiss him on his cheek because my breath or my hair tickles.

It's been a long while since a really really bad meltdown so I worry that future meltdowns will be very hard for me to control.  He is much stronger than I imagined.  I was moving an old desk of his down the steps of our apartment and I asked if he could help me and he picked it up all by himself.  I did take it though worrying he'd strain himself because he's not that big of a boy yet and his coordination is still iffy going down steps and multi-tasking so I refused to let him carry it alone and realized I did not need him to help me at all when I picked it up easily.   But the thought still crosses my mind that I do need to consider how well prepared I am to handle a meltdown from a near teen-aged child.  He will be 11 this December and he does not show any signs of slowing down growth wise.  His shoe size is now in the men's dept, pants in the young men's dept as well. He's got a 28 inch inseam and I have 32 inch inseam.  My child will surely surpass me in height in no time.

He's changing a lot too.  I worry about some of the mood swings I see lately but I have asked his dad to see if it has anything with becoming a young boy.  He may be changing and it might be more comfortable talking about man things with his dad than with me.  I am sure he would become embarrassed or feel awkward about it so I do relinquish some of that to his dad gladly but I am not opposed or uncomfortable explaining things, I am just not sure of the timing of it all.

On a very positive note regardless of this trepidation, my son is doing very well at school.  All scores above 90 in all subjects and 100% in reading.  His teacher believes he'll exceed the CRCT requirements in reading by end of school year and mostly meet all other subject areas.  So glad and very proud he's doing well.