Finally some down time where I am not fighting a huge headache, sinus pain, multi-tasking, or any other life event that is dragging me away.
I am sitting here enjoying slightly less cool weather although it is rainy and feeling pretty well. I just got rid of a headache and feel good for now.
The last few weeks or last month has been a battle against exhaustion from strep, moving, then sinusitis with possible bronchitis and just general malaise. I felt like all my energy was drained and I was replaced with a zombie version of myself even though I was able to get a lot accomplished it was as if I was running on auto-pilot.
One great development was that my son slept in his own room one night. The following few days after though he spent with his dad and that undid it. Now he's back to sleeping with me again. Part of me is okay with it because I suddenly got pangs of sadness realizing he was growing up and needing me less. I realize I take for granted the safety and security of having him an arms length away from me. Across the house I am tossing and turning wondering if he's okay, if he's kicked off the covers and shivering or if he's having a nightmare. I guess I am more of a clingy mom than I thought. I am not ready for him to leave my side as much as I sometimes wish to have the bed to myself. I don't care what anyone says, he's my baby and I feel better with him near me.
I at least know he will soon most likely sleep in his own room for good and that day will feel a bit scary for both of us but I'll know he's more than ready at that point now that he has at least given it one try.
For now I am glad to be off work until Jan 3 and enjoying his company while we hang out and watch cartoons, make cookies, bake a cake and think of other things to entertain us.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Friday, December 16, 2011
Monday, December 05, 2011
Birthday Parties for Aspies and the Dummies who have them
I just wanted to be funny with my title. My son explained to me why he melted down at his party when grandma put an end to them using the laptops and PC in his bedroom. My Aspie thinks much like an adult. "If you're bored find something to do!" It's a one way street of course because when he's bored around me he tells me over and over he's bored. He was telling me that they all could not be doing the same thing or they would all get bored and in each other's way. He compared it to a friends recent birthday party where the theme was playing with legos and other types of toys. He said we were all playing with different legos and toys, it would have been chaotic if we all had to play together on the same thing.
My ex-MIL meant well. One Aspie was being left out while the other two had a laptop and a desktop to play Minecraft on. However, my son was very annoyed and said she made him very unhappy at his birthday party. See sometimes adults want birthday parties to go they way they planned and they forget that ultimately the child is just happy to have lots of friends over and to let chaos ensue. That's what birthday parties mean to them. A day to act like a maniac and not be told what to do.
My ex-MIL hinted we'd be doing this at my place next year. I laughed and said that's why I gave up doing birthday parties after he turned 7 or 8. You can't enjoy something when you are hell bent on controlling it and it slips away and becomes what you don't want it to be.
Kids birthdays and especially Aspie kid birthday parties just go the way they go. In this case, her need to enforce the "I said get off the laptop/PC" rule almost ruined my son's day.
With that said I will not have a birthday party for my son next year like I haven't in the last few years because it was my agreement with my son that we go out for dinner and he get one somewhat big gift from me and that's it or do a movie with one friend.
For one: I don't want to clean up after a bunch of people in my house, Two: I don't want a bunch of people in my very small house, Three: Boys are dirty little vermin that can't seem to aim their urine into the toilet and don't like to wash their hands, Four: I don't cook and I don't play hostess well, Five: I don't want kids in my house without their own parents around to discipline them, Six: I really would rather afford a nice gift for my son and not a party, and LASTLY: Parties are usually for the person throwing it - the parent/adult because they want contact with other adults. Parties can also be a means to get gifts for your kid which is not my style.
The last thing I want is to clean up after anyone and keep other kids (hence why I don't have more than one of my own and I am okay saying that - that is the most selfish thing about me). My ex-MIL has set the tone for his friends to be dropped off for sleep overs and parties. She should have insisted parents stick around because for one, one child kept sticking his fingers in the cake (gross- they don't want their hands) and the other was fine but was getting left out and could have resulted in a major Aspie meltdown.
My son is really strong and it nearly takes two adults to control him in full rage. If we had 3 Aspies each running in different directions and melting down it could spell trouble with big neon red letters. All we need is to have a one child get hit by a car as he darts out of the house or another being thrown down the steps. When my son melted down over the termination of computer use he was shoving his grandmother. Did I mention my son is 5'2" and weighs about 120 lbs? Yes very strong, very big and in full rage mode could be very likely to hurt a grown man let alone a woman that was just inches taller and possible 30 to 40 lbs heavier and who has just recently recovered from knee surgery.
Luckily he was not that angry nor raging that badly and his friends were okay with termination of computer time use at the party. This is a great example of how having the other parents around really does help sometimes. They can control their kid while you tend to yours.
The party was good either way but for the few snags. While we cut the cake the kids were cracking us up. They know more about things than we thought and were cracking jokes about marijuana and heroine ... it was pretty funny and because of the Aspie personalities among them where they say things with very serious dry humor it made it that much funnier.
I think my ex-MIL got her feelings hurt when my son acted out and told her he was mad at her. He hurts my feelings all the time though and it hurts worst when you've taken the time to make a day very special for him. They don't get feelings as much and don't realize or consider the effort you put into it, they just want what they want when they want it regardless of how they come across and what feelings they trample.
My ex-MIL meant well. One Aspie was being left out while the other two had a laptop and a desktop to play Minecraft on. However, my son was very annoyed and said she made him very unhappy at his birthday party. See sometimes adults want birthday parties to go they way they planned and they forget that ultimately the child is just happy to have lots of friends over and to let chaos ensue. That's what birthday parties mean to them. A day to act like a maniac and not be told what to do.
My ex-MIL hinted we'd be doing this at my place next year. I laughed and said that's why I gave up doing birthday parties after he turned 7 or 8. You can't enjoy something when you are hell bent on controlling it and it slips away and becomes what you don't want it to be.
Kids birthdays and especially Aspie kid birthday parties just go the way they go. In this case, her need to enforce the "I said get off the laptop/PC" rule almost ruined my son's day.
With that said I will not have a birthday party for my son next year like I haven't in the last few years because it was my agreement with my son that we go out for dinner and he get one somewhat big gift from me and that's it or do a movie with one friend.
For one: I don't want to clean up after a bunch of people in my house, Two: I don't want a bunch of people in my very small house, Three: Boys are dirty little vermin that can't seem to aim their urine into the toilet and don't like to wash their hands, Four: I don't cook and I don't play hostess well, Five: I don't want kids in my house without their own parents around to discipline them, Six: I really would rather afford a nice gift for my son and not a party, and LASTLY: Parties are usually for the person throwing it - the parent/adult because they want contact with other adults. Parties can also be a means to get gifts for your kid which is not my style.
The last thing I want is to clean up after anyone and keep other kids (hence why I don't have more than one of my own and I am okay saying that - that is the most selfish thing about me). My ex-MIL has set the tone for his friends to be dropped off for sleep overs and parties. She should have insisted parents stick around because for one, one child kept sticking his fingers in the cake (gross- they don't want their hands) and the other was fine but was getting left out and could have resulted in a major Aspie meltdown.
My son is really strong and it nearly takes two adults to control him in full rage. If we had 3 Aspies each running in different directions and melting down it could spell trouble with big neon red letters. All we need is to have a one child get hit by a car as he darts out of the house or another being thrown down the steps. When my son melted down over the termination of computer use he was shoving his grandmother. Did I mention my son is 5'2" and weighs about 120 lbs? Yes very strong, very big and in full rage mode could be very likely to hurt a grown man let alone a woman that was just inches taller and possible 30 to 40 lbs heavier and who has just recently recovered from knee surgery.
Luckily he was not that angry nor raging that badly and his friends were okay with termination of computer time use at the party. This is a great example of how having the other parents around really does help sometimes. They can control their kid while you tend to yours.
The party was good either way but for the few snags. While we cut the cake the kids were cracking us up. They know more about things than we thought and were cracking jokes about marijuana and heroine ... it was pretty funny and because of the Aspie personalities among them where they say things with very serious dry humor it made it that much funnier.
I think my ex-MIL got her feelings hurt when my son acted out and told her he was mad at her. He hurts my feelings all the time though and it hurts worst when you've taken the time to make a day very special for him. They don't get feelings as much and don't realize or consider the effort you put into it, they just want what they want when they want it regardless of how they come across and what feelings they trample.
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