Changes & Challenges

So lately I have been feeling like I am losing my little boy.  I guess his complete and total acceptance of sleeping in his own room has been tougher on me than I thought.  But this morning he wanted to cuddle with me before we left to meet his school bus.  It was bliss. He snuggled up with me and buried his sweet little face in my neck and snored. LOL

His dad came over last Saturday to pick him up to take him to a monster truck jam at the Georgia Dome and he commented as they were getting in his dad's truck how nice it was that he could sit in the front because he's gotten big enough to ride in the front!  I said I still thought he was still a bit too young and small given that I have an air bag I can't switch off on the front.  His dad said I was in denial.  Basically implying that my mommy eyes did not want to see my son was bigger than I wanted him to be.

Truly he's right.  My son has gotten to be a lot more independent and I spend less time helping him with things that were an everyday occurrence.  I used to have to help him in the bathroom a lot and now I seldom do.

The few remnants of his babyhood are that he still likes sippy cups but I keep pushing regular cups at him  ... I know it's a bit weird that he likes sippy cups at 11.  He also still fears the dark. Every time I wake up in the middle of the night, I go check on him.  He's got the light on even though he's got a night light.  I don't know how to assure him that nothing in the dark is any different with the light on.

Clearly I have missed him a lot not sleeping in my bed.  Just yesterday morning I had 3 dreams that each woke me because I kept dreaming he was coming to my bed and crawling into bed with me but when I would open my eyes I'd be alone.  The last of the short dreams felt really real and it was still a dream.  It was a bit upsetting to me but I think it's a just a mommy phase I guess.

He's clinging to new objects, a notebook he writes things in, it's so cute but he's being very protective of it and does not want me to see it.  He even asked where I put it this morning and I said it was in his backpack.  I asked what he was writing and he said slogans.  I was not sure what he meant but I may take peek just for the sake of being a concerned parent and not just invading his privacy.  I don't know how to feel about giving an 11 year old privacy in that area. I can see personal space and privacy when he's dressing, bathing, or using the bathroom, or wants to be alone but things that may be important to understanding what he's going through or learning from friends makes me wonder if I am overstepping a line.  Any thoughts?